Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
