I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
