you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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