I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
