so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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