the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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