I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
