so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
