batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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