im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
