do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
