UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize