Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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