One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
