Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
