just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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