Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
