I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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