haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
