You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Randomize
