Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
