Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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