You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize