Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
