Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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