The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
should my penis look like a turkey
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
