Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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