I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So much rum. So many feels.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize