First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
