You're so nebulous sometimes
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
