best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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