You really coming over, don't trick.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
