so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
