Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
