this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
