I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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