Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
