Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??

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(314): View more from Missouri

I think i peed on brittanys purse

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(713): View more from Texas

then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate

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(416): View more from Ontario

Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA

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(615): View more from Tennessee

He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.

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