His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
