My brain says no but my pants say off.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Randomize