there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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