So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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