eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
