Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
