Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
