i was born a porn star she said
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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