we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
All I want is dick and wine.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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