I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
