I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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