Porn is love you can see.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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