He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
