his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I think i got beer on your cat.
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