Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
