so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
