I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize