Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
