Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
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