We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
