So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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