did you get engaged???
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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