Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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