I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
