Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
