I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
