It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
